Does your ‘The One’ actually exist?

Everybody wants that perfect someone to spend their life with. Are you looking for ‘the one’ in your life? How exactly would someone define ‘The One’ for him/herself?

Whenever I ask people to describe what qualities they are looking for in their match, or what look they would like their partner to have, most of them cannot clarify (maybe there are just too many to mention). The truth is everyone wants the best things in their lives. There are always requirements; sometimes long lists of requirements. Singles, especially women, are too often waiting for the one. And ‘the One’ is basically someone that fulfills all the requirements one could possibly think of. But does that kind of person really exist?

Ironically, the fact is no one is perfect. So there’s a big chance that without compromise you will constantly meet people who reach some of your requirements but not all. So what should we do then? Did you ever think of giving the ‘second-best’ a try? Everything in life needs working at and everything in life comes with catches and hitches.

“When setting a precedent of standards in dating, people set themselves up to be constantly let down. It is unlikely in the short term that anyone will match their checklist because however great the date has just been, there may be someone waiting who is even better, who is ‘the One’. Dating is a chemical reaction. It isn’t about checklists, it isn’t about computer date matching, it isn’t about predetermined ideas about people. It is about communication and intellect and physical chemistry and instant emotions.”

Anonymous from www. topdatingtips.com

Maybe ‘second best’ is not that at all. Life is all about the risks we take and the choices we make. And every person we meet requires an investment of time and effort to get to know them. We often just want perfection handed to us on a platter. Too often we’re unwilling to invest, rather hoping for ‘perfection at first sight’. More often than not though, we have to put in efforts to make relationships work.

Then there are those people who really have high expectation or requirements but forget to look back at themselves. Everybody wants to reach for the stars, but that’s a tall order for any man. Too many people simply forget that the partner they are looking for is also a person just like them. And what does this person likely want? The same as you: Perfection. Always try to be realistic. There are two things you can do. Ground your expectations in reality or work on yourself to become ‘perfect’ for the other. If everyone did both maybe love wouldn’t be THAT difficult.

This ‘the one’ subject reminds me of a story I once read long ago when I was young. The story was about frogs that lived in a big pond and they were trying to select their new leader. They never felt satisfied with any of their choices sent by god. Of course there were many good points about each leader sent, but the frogs always focused on the bad points and kept asking the god for an even better leader. Eventually god sent a bird as the new leader and those frogs were all eaten.

‘the one’ is definitely there for everyone. But he or she might not be the person you had in mind all along. Wishing the impossible isn’t going to work. But keep your dreams grounded in reality and they might just come true. They might not be in the places or the people we expected them to be. But wouldn’t it be a pity to find out that that “Second best” that you let walk away was the best thing in your life all along.

The keys to this problem are compromising and complimenting. Be sensible. Seeking perfection doesn’t guarantee your happiness, but seeing everything that is perfect about someone might get you a long way. Accept each other’s flaws and celebrate each other’s strong features and you might find out that what’s perfect has been handed to you all along (by Meet n Lunch haha).